On Being an Asshole

Last time I was in Paris I went to a club at Opera. I was talking to some girls. We were flirting and stuff.

One of them asked, “were you always such an asshole?” I jokingly replied “I used to be a sweet guy, but then I got heartbroken.” The usual cliche…

“Yeah, yeah, every guy says that.” was her response.

Well, maybe not every guy, but quite a few players do. And why the fuck is everyone surprised?

Of course nice guys get hurt. Being sweet in a relationship or generally being a ‘nice guy’ 100% of the time, with women or anyone, always gets you fucked.

As men growing up, we’re sold on an idea of being a prince, a good man, a gentleman, a nice guy, a good colleague, to turn the left cheek when you get slapped on the right.

Hollywood, media, literature, music, the entire culture celebrates the beta male rich prince, that puts his princess on the pedestal, makes her the centre of his universe and treats every bum nicely.

As a young man, you follow this route and… you get fucked.

Of course you do.

Take women for example. No woman wants to fuck a sweet prince. They want his love and his care, not his genes.

They fall in love with the image of a prince charming. Yet they dream about sex with a rockstar.

A prince has a big castle and riches – an essential feature of a beta male provider. Rockstar’s got the reproductive success. If your kid happens to have the same traits, you just won the game of evolution.

On the most biological level, every woman looks for two things in a man – good genes for her children and commitment of resources to ensure her kids grow up and survive.

That’s what she needs and not necessarily from the same guy. 15% of husbands raise other men’s children without knowing about it.

Just like every man looks for a woman with a healthy body to carry his children and good genes that are usually manifested by looks and smarts.

There are no golddiggers son. Just like you don’t want to fuck a fatty, no girl wants a broke loser with a good heart.  

The core instinct behind sex is reproduction. And reproduction is the only biological purpose of our life. That’s why our brain rewards sex with way more pleasure than any other activity, including drinking and eating required for survival.

When it comes to raising kids, women invest the most – their entire body. Thus they need a nice guy to make sure they’re not left alone to do the job of raising his children, while he goes to fuck another one.

At the same time everyone wants to have successful kids. Aggressive, assertive, dominant and confident assholes are more likely to succeed than sweet guys patiently waiting in the corner. To have kids carry their genes is a win in the game of evolution.

That’s because in the stone age, the sweet, patiently waiting guy starved himself to death and never got to reproduce.

That’s why in nature, females bond with betas but fuck with the alpha. The beta helps to take care of her and alpha’s kids and in return he also gets to reproduce.

DNA studies show that up to 50% of birds are fathered by a male other than the one sharing the nest. Among monkeys, the percentage is even higher.

We evolved from same ancestors like monkeys. Over millions of years. We carry the same instincts hardwired in our DNA. Like every other animal.

And we realise that on the subconscious level.

But our society sells us the idea of being a ‘sweet guy.’ Just look at the Hollywood movies… the nice guy wins eventually, the alpha guy is always an unsympathetic asshole that loses in the end…

Whoever promotes that stuff just follows their own reproductive self-interest. We’re hardwired to. Women need more betas so they have someone to provide. Men need more betas so they themselves can do better.

And then, some guys follow their crap and get fucked.

Of course they do. And then they become angry. They give up their bullshit illusions and start ruthlessly pursuing sex and success on the most primal level.

And that’s what men are born to do.

They’re not born to ‘worship god,’ they’re not born to ‘find their other half.’ Religion was created to ensure betas don’t kill the alpha. Romance was created to ensure most men don’t even try to win big time.

You tell me about social constructs like gentlemanship? Yeah they matter. Now. But this world is billions of years old and it’s been governed by rules or biology and physics ever since.

The entire universe is and will be governed by the rules of physics and, wherever there’s life, biology too. Forever. It will never fucking change. Forget about it.

Societal rules, come and go. The ‘nice guy’ bullshit exists for couple hundred years. What’s that compared to billions of years of evolution and trillions of years to come.

The nature doesn’t give a fuck. Social constructs die. Laws of nature prevail.

So what’s the point? The point is that you don’t have to be buying the nice guy bullshit. Nice guys are fucking losers.

You learn it the hard way.

Yeah, as it is with everything, you want to balance both. Be a nice guy, a gentleman when you like to but know when it’s time to be an aggressive, dominant person.

In other words, be an asshole when it matters.

That’s what means being a mature man. Complete assholes don’t get far.

But overall… I’d rather get rejected for being an asshole and win in the long run, than be ‘accepted’ for being a nice guy and get fucked eventually.